Merry Christmas 2011

Disneyland 2011

Once again I am getting the melancoly of seeing another year fade from my life.  It has been a tough year for sure.  I came very close to leaving all I know and love.  I seem to be a little lost, ok, maybe a whole lot lost.  I keep hoping something will kick over in me that all of this stuff going on in my head and heart will just fade.   So in the sadness of ending a questionable year, there is a new year ahead to try again.  All a person can do is take that deep breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Not all of 2011 was bad, Travis and I was able to take our trip to California.   And once again we had the most amazing time.   Travis had a rough year too, so this trip is our medicine.  

October 2011

I had such a wonderful day today with my friends from California and my youngest son. I am so blessed to have them in my life. They gave me something I needed so badly lately, lots of laughs and lots of smiles. I am blessed by my family and friends. I am stumbling through life right now. I do not know if what I am going through is just because I am turning into a crazy old lady, or just plain crazy. Time will tell.

A New Toy in Andy’s Room

Amazing to think of all the things that have happened since last time I posted. The biggest news is my youngest son was hired to work at Disney. And even better working with me at Toy Story Midway Mania.
So happy to have him there with me. And as Karma would have it on the ride’s 3 year anniversary Travis was the one who opened the ride for the first time.
Who would have thought 3 years ago when I first opened the ride to guests that my boy would be working with me?
The poor boy is having a time of it, really, no body is prepared for what guests and their children are capable of. It is non stop pressure. But I keep telling him that all of the tough stuff is just making him a better cast member.
I look forward to the day that his probationary time is over. Until then I will be holding my breath. But until then I will enjoy every moment that he is there.

While you were Waiting.

Hello my dearest friends I know its been a long time since I checked in here.  Days just keep marching on and of course the real world keeps turning.  Amazing how fast time goes by.

I am still at Toy Story Midway Mania, I guess that makes me still a maniac.  I think it is a mandatory trait for the work.  I was accepted to be a trainer at the attraction but in the end turned it down because I had a sudden realization about the whole process.  I decided that I would not be happy spending my entire days with one or two cast members, that if I had to give up all the opportunities to meet and interact with the guests I would be miserable. 

And ever since I made that decision I have not regretted it.  I am doing what I love.  And its not like I would ever stop helping the new cast members appreciate their jobs or understand their roles, I do not need to get paid the extra dollar an hour to make sure everyone is safe.  So I am happy.

So that is the short version of the last few months.  I send my love and hugs to all of you that are still brave enough to read my ramblings.

Merry Christmas 2010

 Another year is coming to a close.  Lots of ups and downs for all of us.  But I have learned that is just the way life is.  We spend a lot of time picking ourselves up from the ground and dusting ourselves off and carrying on with every day.

I am missing my Mom something terrible.  That emptiness just not seem to go away.  I miss her so very much.  With the holidays there is always something that reminds me of her.

I seem to be still in a september frame of mind and can’t believe that Christmas is just a short time away.  Soon I will blink and it will be over.  I always wonder if maybe working at the parks has kind of  made me lose track of the fun of the holiday.  Or is it that there are no longer kids here at the house to wake up on Christmas morning to see what Santa has brought them. sigh.  Maybe its just a little bit of all those things.

To all of you that have stuck with me all of these years on this roller coaster called life, Merry Christmas and I am sending you all of my love.

Thank you.

I did not want this month to slip by without posting.  And since tomorrow is Thanksgiving I will spend this time thanking the people that make me smile.  I am so very thankful to the people that over the years have lifted my spirits when I was low. 

To all of you, Thank you.

Dream Trip to California Part Two

Yep we did so much that, this is a two parter!

Friday morning we woke up early to have Anthony take us to Hollywood.  We hit the beach.  And of course In and Out Burgers.

I love California so much.  I think I would move there in a instant if I could, but can’t see me ever being able to afford it.  So I will just have to go there as often as I can.

Hollywood was all I remembered and far less scary than I remembered.  Of course it helped having Anthony with us and showing us everything there was to see.

Jim Henson Studios

El Capitan Theater

Where is the Great Movie Ride?

We had so much fun being tourists in Hollywood, and of course I had to find Godzilla’s star.

This is just so cool.

After leaving Hollywood we headed up to the Griffith Observatory.  It was a beautiful day.  And I will admit the driving on L.A. Freeways scared me to death, but I love L.A.

It was a gorgeous day up on the mountain.  I don’t think I will ever be able to thank Anthony and Garrett enough for giving Travis and I a vacation of a life time.  I am so lucky they are my friends.

So that is my trip, or at least the abbreviated version.  I am so anxious to go back!

Dream trip to California.

I want to write down all the things I never want to forget about this trip.  Trav and I had a vacation of a lifetime that was filled with so many wonderful memories I don’t want to forget a moment.

The first day we arrived at LAX and Anthony whisked us away to Disneyland where I had dinner at Club 33 .  Just crossing the threshold was amazing to me, but to have dinner there was amazing.

Dinner was so pricey but I knew that I may never ever have the opportunity again.  We stayed at the park until late in the afternoon and then went back to the house to rest up for our midnight showing of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World at the New Beverly theater.  The biggest surprise of all that many of the stars and the director showed up to answer questions and visit with everyone there.

It was fantastic and well worth staying up until 4 a.m. to see!

The next day Trav and I checked into our hotel where we stayed the next two days doing up Disneyland and DCA from sun up to sun down.  We had so much fun. 

Tuesday we got up early and headed to the Disney Studios.  This was probably the one thing that really just gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes.  To get so close to where it all began was mind blowing to me.  All the wonderful Disney Movies that were filmed where I was now standing was overwelming.

While we were at the Studios they were having a celebrity autograph session in conjunction with the release of Beauty and the Beast and I was able to meet the the voices of Belle and Beast, and the Director and one of the animators from the film.

But by far the biggest and the most unexpected thing was going to the Archives and getting to shake Dave Smith’s hand and take some pictures with a “Disney Legend” before he retires after a long career of taking care of all our Disney treasures.

 After leaving the Disney Studios we went to the Craig Ferguson show at CBS and got to see the taping for two shows.  We got to see the Mythbusters, and do our part as an official Hollywood live studio audience. LOL.  Then after the taping we were back at Disneyland for the Halloween Party at Disneyland.  The weather turned cold and wet. But we still got to ride our favorite rides and collect up a lot of candy.

Wednesday was the one day that we got to just stay home and rest.  Poor Trav was catching a cold so it seemed like a good idea.  Thursday we got up early and made our way to Universal Studios Hollywood.  I have to say that the park is a blast and their backlot tour should not be missed.

After leaving Universal we headed back to Disney’s California Adventure to see the cast member preview of ElecTronica.

California Here I Come!

 Our trip is right around the corner.  This will be a trip of a lifetime for me.  Of course I am going back to Disneyland, but this time there are many special things that I am getting the opportunity to do.  My dear friend Anthony is taking me to Club 33,  this is almost too much to imagine for me.  I thought I would never do anything more than stand by the door and point to the legendary 33 on the door.  I am sure this is how Cinderella felt as she was preparing for the big dance!

And then to top that off I am taking Travis to see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World at the New Beverly Theater in L. A. for the special midnight show, celebrities will be there from the movie.  I am excited for this but more than anything so happy for Trav because he is beside himself excited for this.  Its like going to a Hollywood premiere, or as close as I will ever get to such a thing.

I will have days in the park meeting old friends and new friends, and spending time with my son.  We are going to the Halloween party at Disneyland, I am so excited to see the Haunted Mansion all decked out with Jack Skellingtons finest Nightmare decorations.  What a wonderful time to be in the Happiest place on Earth.

And as if that was not enough, we are going to lunch at the Disney Studios.  The  very studios where the magic has been being made since Walt built it.  I am at awe just seeing the famous water tower, but to actually set foot through those famous gates blows my mind.  Ok so maybe Cinderella was not as excited as I am.

We are going to go to a special cast preview of ElecTronica at Disney’s California Adventure.  And then to the opening day of it for guests.  We are going to Griffith Observatory, and all the wonderful tourist attractions that I have always wanted to see.  Grauman’s Chinese Theater, El Capitan, Godzilla’s star on the Walk of Fame, Universal, MGM Studios and so much more..  LOL.

So if you haven’t guessed…..YES, I AM SO EXCITED!

Fall around the corner.

September 1st.  Wow, August flew by.  Our California trip is right around the corner.  I am beyond excited!!!!!  I am so looking forward to every moment.  This is more than just a trip to me, this is a time to spend with my youngest son, and my amazing California friends.  We have so many wonderful things planned but of course mostly “Disneyland”, sigh,  I love Disneyland!

Work has been a challenge this week.  In our desperation to make the ride safer for our guests we have cut out ability to get everyone through the line fast.  God Bless them a two hour wait for any ride is crazy!

When all this happened on monday, I felt like my heart would break.  When guests were yelling at me about their wait, all I could do was agree that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t fair.  And the biggest heart break is when I have to talk people out of waiting so long.  Sigh.

We have great minds working on the problems, and we are doing our best to make lemonade out of a whole bunch of lemons.  It will take some time to work out the issues, but there is no doubt in my mind that Toy Story Midway Mania is one of the best things the Imagineers have ever come up with for family enjoyment.  Am I proud??  yeah, of course I am.  Like I told one of my managers today.  I love my job just in case you have not noticed.

The thing that keeps me going is when I am able to make the kids smile.  Or the times when a guest shakes my hand, or when they give me a hug.  Just because I have done some little thing that made their day.  It is what makes me know I am where I should be, and doing what I am best at.

On the Eve of a Birthday.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and by wonderful luck it is my youngest son’s birthday as well.  I found myself today sitting at a traffic light and starting to tear up thinking about how blessed I am to have him as my son.

Life is throwing him one curve ball after the other.  He can’t seem to find work, and the one place that we always assumed would be his first job for some reason is not hiring him.  To say it is breaking my heart would be to put it mildly.  It is not only breaking my heart but crushing it.

He and I have had so many adventures together.  Often he has been who I have leaned on when things have been getting me down.  I really would have been lost without him.  And now here he is about to turn 20 years old.  My little boy will be 20.  sigh.

I remember when I first went to the doctor and he told me my baby would be born around July 31st.  I said “no he will come on my birthday”, and sure enough around 1 am on August 2nd my little boy was in my arms.  How fast time has gone by.

So I post this not to mourn the fact that I have grown another year older, but to celebrate 20 wonderful years of my son Travis.  Don’t ever forget how very much your mom loves you.

A Group Hug

 I try to write here at least once a month.  I am not sure if anyone even comes here anymore but me.  This blog is still so important to me.  The last few years of my life are all here in these posts. 

I am surviving the summer, it is so very hot.   The parks are so crowded.  I get so tired I still love what I do but sometimes I feel like I will collapse from exhaustion.  When I am driving to work I am dragging my feet.  But then something takes over in me once I step on stage.  A energy that I have in reserve, and when I get those smiles and waves and I make someone laugh then all is well in my magical world.

So this is me checking in.  Exhausted from the day, but wanted to reach out to all my friends and send a group hug.

This Book

Each day opens like a book waiting to be read.
Sometimes it is a new story, other times a continuation of a ongoing tale.
When we are born the pages, are new and fresh.
As we age the stories become filled with excitement, joy, love, sorrow, and tragedy.
The pages become worn,
Some pages tear stained.
Some parts of the book you wish you did not have to read.
Other times, a story that you wish you never had to stop reading.
Today I pick up this book, and wonder which story will it be?

This summer.

June 27th was the anniversary of my mom passing away.  A few weeks ago her husband, my step dad passed away as well.   He loved her dearly.  I think he was more than ready to go just to be with her.  They had immense faith that carried them through their last years and their battles with cancer.

It was sad packing up the last of my mom’s treasures,  saying goodbye all over again.  Remembering each story she had with each thing I held in my hand.  Missing her voice and laughter.  Missing her singing religious hymns in the morning as she puttered around the kitchen.

It was sad saying goodbye for the last time to a house, that the two of them built together.  It was a house that I did not grow up in so all the memories there were of my mom and her husband.  Many wonderful memories some not so wonderful, but still a memory is a memory.  It is what makes us.

The world seems to be facing one catastrophe after another, but still the sun comes up each day, the world still finds its way around the sun.  Just as we all find ourselves still standing, and making it through another day.

So here I am with some memories, and a new day.  And the world still circling, taking me one more year down the road.

My Light.

We are like the stars in the heaven.

Scattered amongst the dark sky,

casting our light out, hoping that we bring a smile to those who see us.

Often overlooked but we continue to shine, even when the clouds of our lives

hide our light from view.

We are no more permanent than the stars in the heaven.

But often our light continues to shine after the star is long gone.

We often feel that we are unimportant.

But our stars are often used by our loved ones for direction,

just like the sailors who are guided by the stars to find their way home.

We are all cast together in this world that is our sky and our universe.

There are those of us that our light will endure long after we are gone,

and there will be those that will continue to allow the clouds to hide their light.

It is up to all of us to shine as brightly as we can,

and like the stars in the heaven assure those around us that we are always there watching over them.

We are the stars that inspire poetry, music and dreams and wishes.

And when we think we are alone, look around you,  you are surrounded

by other stars just like you.

Find comfort in your place in the heavens, find peace in knowing your light brings comfort to others.

Helping a Angel.

As many of you know I am very proud to work at Toy Story Midway Mania.  Love everything about it, most of all I love the faces of the guests as they come in and I see how much they enjoyed the ride.

We have a special loading area for our guests that have disabilities.  It is called our WAV area, Wheelchair Access Vehicle.  This is one of my favorite places to be because often I am given a bit more time to visit with our guests.  And it is usually here my heart is touched by the families and the challenges they face.

Today there was a family that came to my area,  here was a mom, a dad, and two little girls.   But one of the little girls was in a chair that was more like a hospital bed.  This precious child hooked up to tubes, and machines.  But I could see in her eyes that she was very aware of where she was, even though she could not communicate it or move.

Since this was the first time that I had ever had this kind of chair/bed, I had to tell the family that we may not be able to load her on the vehicle.  But we would do our very best.  But before we would load the little girl, I wanted one of the parents to ride the ride in a wheelchair to experience it to let me know that it really was ok for her daughter.

When she came back she said lets get her on the ride.  This vehicle and this special area I am so very proud of.  We were able to take the time, and other guests were so very patient with us.  And we were able to put this fragile little girl on the ride.

I was fortunate to be there when they were done, and I said did she like it?  And the mom said she is mad because she could not stay on.  And I looked at the little girl and there were tears in her eyes.  She never got to play the game, she really never got to do anything but lay there, and listen, and watch as her mom held her in her arms.  With all of that, she still loved the ride.

What more can I say? I am blessed to work somewhere that can make that kind of magic.

Check, Check is this thing on?

I have been meaning to get here for over a month, amazing how life keeps a person busy despite their efforts to be lazy.  Work is going well.  I can’t even believe it but Toy Story Midway Mania will be turning 2 in May.  How time has flown by! 

Today I gave the park tour for my On With The Show Class.  This has to be my most favorite thing to do.  Today was one of the best, I had a good friend as my partner, lets just say even though he portrays someone from the Dark Side of the Force, the force was strong with us both.  It really seemed that the new cast members were enjoying their time with us.  I think they really did feel that they were now part of a family!  The family of cast members at Disneys Hollywood Studios.

One of my favorite things to tell them is “You know when someone says you are soooo Disney!”  you know exactly what that person is like.  And I told them I am very, very proud to be “Disney”.  And there really can’t be anything better in this world then having a job where the only thing I have to do is make people happy.

I have a new goal that hopefully I will get the opportunity to audition for this spring, and that would to be a Traditions Facilitator.  Traditions is a class taught at Disney University , and it is the class that every cast member must attend before they start work  anywhere on property.  I had tried out for it years and years ago, long before Dream Squad, and it was pretty clear that I had no business trying out for it with what little experience I had.  But now I have so many stories, and so much to say to all these new cast members.  Not sure if I will be able to get this or not but it will be well worth the adventure trying.

My family are all well, can not even believe it but my son will be going to Japan in just a few months for his long overdue honeymoon with the Princess.  I am beyond excited for them.  How wonderful that they will get to do something that I dare not even dream about for myself.  This will be be a trip of a lifetime for sure!

I miss my Mom just about every single day.  Even though my pet peeve was her saturday 6 am calls that never failed to wake us up.  I wish I could hear her voice once more.   The only good thing that has come out of this is that my sister and I are getting closer.  That is long overdue.

So my friends I promise for those of you still brave enough to come to this site, I will try to visit more often.

Just checking in.

I have always tried to make sure to post at least once a month.  Not sure if I have missed any yet!  This year seems to have flown by in some ways, and in other ways been one of the most heart wrenching years of my life.

We learn things as we go along, hard lessons, bumps in the road, hills to climb.  And no I am not going to start channeling Miley Cyrus and break into song.  That is not my style.  No I come here to my little blog.

December has always made me emotional.  This one won’t be any different.  I miss my Dad, he loved Christmas so much.  He would always have his tree up as early as he could get it up.  And then call and tell me how beautiful it looked.  It was a soft side that I did not know that my Dad had until later in his life.  We would always time our yearly watching of  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and we would laugh about all the lines and characters that we knew by heart.  Funny how that movie in itself became the “Gift That Keeps on Giving” like the jelly of the month club.  It will give me memories of my dad always.

This year has been amazing at work.  Mostly just the fact that Toy Story Midway Mania is still so very popular.  I never get tired of seeing how happy it makes people.  I am very proud to work there.

I still do the Park tour for the new cast members, I still am amazed at how lucky I am to have been chosen to do that.  When I am there telling the stories and talking about the magic that we make working for Disney, again it makes me very proud.  I have this one spot in One Man’s Dream that I tell all of the new cast members to share with me their favorite Disney memory.  And then I tell them Congratulations you are now a part of your favorite memory.

I am going to try to get my act together this year and get this weight off that I gained when I lost my mom and I was in Ohio.    Seems like my body has decided to hold on to every pound now, and now its a matter of doing battle with what the years are doing to me.  I need something to work on to keep me focused, sometimes I feel depression trying to creep into my life.  And I think if I do this it might help.  If anything it keeps me busy.  And a goal to look forward to.

Must be just me.

 I still love my job so much.  Even when I am exhausted, even when I have had a awful day with one issue after the other, when all is said and done I still love it.  My issue is that I work with wonderful people, but there are a few of them there that hate their jobs so much, and hate the attraction so much that it bothers me.

And I guess its just more than I can fathom.  Because I look at the smiles on the faces of the kids and their parents and I can’t believe how lucky I am that I am a part of their happiness.  It is so perplexing.  I guess its one of those things with the cast members that it always looks greener on the other side of the mountain.  And they don’t realize how lucky they are.

I guess my time when the parks were taken away from me and I was stuck backstage  stays in my head.  That was the worst torture of all.  Its hard for me because I know I can’t change the way they think.  And I can’t change the way I am.  So I seem to have hit a brick wall.  But there are days that I just want to yell at them all and tell them to snap out of it.  And today was one of those days.  sigh.

This Year.

This year will go down as one of the worst for me.  The things I dreaded in my life have come to pass.  The worries of getting older, and losing family members always was in the back of my mind.  And this year I lost my mother, and my father-in-law, and this week I lost my aunt.

It is beyond what I could have imagined to be in this phase of my life.  You spend all of your youth never thinking about it.  The years raising a family, too busy to give it a second thought.  And then day by day it sneaks up on you.

I am trying to give myself the attention I never got for most of my life.  Exercising, career opportunities, new friendships.  If I have to go I want to go out smiling.  Life truly is too short.

So for now I am taking a deep breath.  Tomorrow will be another day.  And I need to add this one thing on the eve of my aunt’s funeral tomorrow.  The last time I talked to her it was after my mom’s funeral.  And it was so good to hear my Aunt Terry’s voice.  She had been fighting cancer for quite some time so she sounded frail.  But she still had that beautiful voice that I remembered.  Her voice sounding just like my grandmother’s.

We talked about how sad it was that we had not been able to spend much time together during her life time.  The time we had was special.  I remember her saying this to me, “Just remember that I have always loved you no matter what.”  And I told her that I loved her too.

The economy being what it is, and our finances beyond repair, I will not be able to go to Virginia to say goodbye to her.  But its ok, because I did when I was on the phone to her in June.  And that goodbye was the one I want to remember.

My love to my cousins, Jamie, Michael and Chris.  Believe me I know your hearts are breaking.  I have traveled this road you are on now, just a few short months ago.  I love you.  I thought when Aunt Terry passed that that was it the end of my dad’s family.  There was only the three of them.  But a good friend reminded me that was not the case at all, that there was me, and my sister and the three of you.